Priceless Gift

Merry Christmas and here’s a little article that I have read and would like to share with you…

A priceless gift? Your life story (from USA TODAY)

By Alcestis "Cooky" Oberg Wed Dec 21, 6:45 AM ET

While we're out buying our kids electronic gadgets that will be obsolete by next Christmas, my godfather, Nick Conteas, is giving his grandson something important that will endure many years: the gift of his life story.

He wrote his memoirs - not out of vanity or self-aggrandizement - but out of a sense of duty, to teach his grandson how to be a good man in the real world. In his long life, my godfather has been a poor kid of immigrant parents, a champion athlete in both baseball and football, a college graduate with many friends, a military intelligence officer whose work spanned the globe during World War II, and a pioneering entrepreneur.

Through it all, he demonstrated the virtues of responsibility, hard work, devotion to family and duty to country. His grandson is unlikely to get such a role model from his school or the media these days.

And that's what makes the gift so special. Our kids need to know real things about life besides the lame fantasies they get on television: the life we lived, the good and bad choices we made, the lessons we learned, what we'd do if we had it to do over again. In short, whether role model or cautionary tale, the real story of our lives is the best thing we can give kids because it's true, and they'll learn from it.

Batting back the bullies
Take my godfather's childhood. When little Nick was jeered by other kids for being a weakling, he didn't whine about it or sue the school district. He went down to his basement and practiced hitting a ball on a rope with a bat until he became a champion hitter. He became such a good baseball player, he not only became a valued teammate in a tough neighborhood but also was invited as a teenager to play for the Chicago White Sox.
Schools today teach whining and excuse-making - not empowerment through challenge, hard work and determination.

His grandson is not going to find on television the tale of becoming the man of the family at 16 years old either, as my godfather did. He financially supported his mother and sister after his father died during the Depression, while putting himself through Northwestern University on athletic scholarships and odd jobs. He kept 50 cents in his pocket for emergencies and sent everything else home. Self-sacrifice and responsibility for others are not part of the manly role model that is taught in movie chase scenes and shoot-'em-ups, or by celebrity misbehavers and cheaters.

During our current wartime when public officials mostly point fingers and lay blame, my godfather's story of hard-charging patriotism and duty to country would be lost, too. Though he had a deferment, he wanted to protect the United States. A talented investigator, he first worked Naval counterintelligence in the States, then foreign intelligence in the Middle East, and finally battlefield intelligence in the Pacific. He observed how our allies were often more intent on postwar political and economic positioning than fighting an enemy.
In the Pacific, he saw not only the heroism of ordinary men but sometimes also the hand of God, too. For instance, in the Philippines, his PT boat's engines stopped suddenly as the crew were fleeing enemy fire - but the enemy kept firing beyond them, at the spots they would have been if the engines had kept running.

After the war, he married and went into business, where honesty and forthrightness with customers and partners were his trademarks - not a popular theme on The Apprentice. Living a modest lifestyle helped his family ride the ups and downs of business more easily - rather than "living large," which we are all encouraged to do in our culture.

On a personal level, he stresses to his grandson that it's a sin to cheat on one's wife: Love is not just a feeling but a way of life, an adamantine commitment - something demonstrated every day in the form of teamwork, patience and devotion.
Where in Hollywood are you going to hear that?

Life lessons
Life posed a question to Nick Conteas: What kind of man are you? In four notebooks, he answered it with a lifetime of principled and courageous actions - in many circumstances, in many places in the world, in the shifting times of nearly nine decades. Sometimes his honesty and stubborn rectitude got him into trouble, and he suffered professionally and financially for it. But in the end, he didn't lose who he was. He didn't compromise his morals and ethics to the pressures, temptations, frustrations and demands that were thrown in his path through his long and complicated life. He was - and ever will be - a good man.

And that's just what kids need to hear this Christmas, every Christmas. Whether housewife or doctor, truck driver or engineer, lawyer or lineman, we all have stories to tell - great stories. Perhaps we could write, record, or videotape these stories for our youngsters in installments over the years - something for them to look forward to during the holidays. They hardly know us or know what's important in life anymore, amid today's noise and clutter.

In my eyes, my godfather is a quiet hero, one of millions who form the bedrock of our nation. He's come a long way from that kid with 50 cents in his pocket through hard work, honesty, and decency.

And it's not surprising that he would take up the lance of truth in old age for the sake of his grandson, and charge full tilt against the greatest evil of our times - the absence of teaching virtue and morality to our young people.

Alcestis "Cooky" Oberg lives in Houston and is a member of USA TODAY's board of contributors.